Throughout my life, I have had to break down wall after wall to find happiness and be fulfilled. I have had to battle with depression, trauma, low self-esteem, and even suicidal thoughts. Despite all of this I found the strength to become the best version of myself and embrace all the amazing opportunities life has to offer. I’m beginning to live my best life and my purpose today is to help people do the same.
Let me take you back to where I’m coming from…
From as far back as I can remember in my childhood, I wasn’t happy. I suffered from a trauma at a very young age that affected me for a great part of my life. Memories of this weighed upon me so much that I felt I was a bad person, that something wrong with me. I was unable to accept myself as I was. I constantly felt unworthy and guilty.
I remember the few times I’ll actually feel happy and be startled. The feeling was strange. and then my mind would immediately go haywire thinking “What else is not right? What else should I be worried about?” I’ll think I simply didn’t deserve to be happy.
As a teenager, things got worse. I battled with huge inferiority complex caused by my trauma that went everywhere with me keeping me in a chokehold. To be honest, I was operating in survival mode but somehow I made it through.
After my graduation from the university, the stress I faced due to unemployment, my confidence issues, added to a series of dysfunctional relationships had me slip into depression. I had always been sad but this was an all-time new low. The feeling dragged me down, tore me up, and didn’t let up for one minute. During the days my only wish was for the night to fall so I could shut the world out but at night I stayed awake. Terrible, derogatory, and vicious thoughts tore me apart.
Luckily I found a hospital that put me on good medication (I am still on medication to date, 10 years later) and I started feeling better. But there were times I still had crises and I have almost lost my life to suicide. Thank God I didn’t!
If you ask me the only thing that kept me moving and saved me was that little voice ever-present at the back of my mind, telling me there will be a day when everything will be awesome. I had the hope of one day being great. I held on to this hope, it was like a dream. But dreams without action are just mere fleeting thoughts that come and go.
I tremendously lacked the courage, strength, and determination to put my life together. I had a defeated and inferior mindset. Everything I tried never had the slightest success. I didn’t even know how to commit to something and do it well. I had all these big ideas, I’ll build castles in the air and go in with little preparation and poor execution and end up in failure.
When I, later on, moved to Europe a few years after graduating my life was a mess for the 4 years I lived there. I didn’t pay attention to anything I did. I was totally nonchalant about the things that were important, so much that I lost my residence permit. This marked the turning point in my life as I started scrambling for ways to stay there. For the first time in my life, I was truly conscious of what I was about to lose and it sent an electric shock to my brain finally bringing me to my senses. I started reflecting on my life and choices and realized how I had been living and it was not a pretty sight.
I remember the day I was on a train coming back from my immigration lawyer’s office and my thoughts were so heavy I actually physically collapsed under the weight.
That was the moment I decided to pick up the reigns of my life. I started by getting my first free book on Audible Abundance Now by Lisa Nichols which I devoured over and over! I started watching people on Youtube who had been through the worst situations in life and succeeded to break free and be great. Then the mindset shift began:
-I reached out to someone I considered an elder brother and he became my first ever mentor
-I started taking advice from good people (something I never used to do)
-I started applying what I learned. Gone were the days I would read quotes, books, etc and just for momentary entertainment, now I actually sought to apply them in my life.
-I started working 2 jobs and saving for my move back home. I couldn’t continue living in Europe illegally or I’d just have wasted my time.
Then I moved back to Africa, enrolled in a great university (with the support of my family), and got my Master’s degree.
Though I was getting back on the right track, I still had serious confidence issues. Imagine being 30 years old and being a student again. It was embarrassing and worsened by complexes. I could never speak up in class, or talk in groups. There were days I cut class just to avoid doing a presentation. It was devastating to me.
But over time the mindset I was developing made me move towards a solution and I joined Toastmasters International where I learned to speak up and my confidence skyrocketed.
Fast forward to now;
-Now I’m pretty confident
-Now I have a good sense of who I am and my worth
-Now I have a job in a renowned African bank
-Now I’m building my blog
-Now I have quality relationships
-Now I’m in touch with God
-Now I’m hopeful and excited about the future
And it will only get better.
I still have a long way to go judging by the size of my dreams but I know I have everything it takes, plus I now run TOWARDS the things that scare me instead of AWAY.
I also have a standard of execution which is excellence in everything I do. I am resilient and optimistic about life
Are you ready to do the same for you?
If you read this far, I hope my story was a source of inspiration.
My goal with this blog is to share with you the tools that can help you live your best life.
Welcome to LOVING WHAT YOU LIVE!
Expect to find the following on this blog:
-Self-improvement tips and advice I get from books I read and from the talks of successful people I listen to. Because I believe in staying true to oneself I write about concepts that I have learned and tried and know to be true. On no occasion will I present you with information that I can’t vouch for.
-Self-development courses that I have either taken or have knowledge of. Courses from renowned thought leaders and self-help teachers.
-I’ll always talk about books because they are a huge part of my transformational journey. So expect to see a feature/review from time to time of the latest personal development authors.
-Another thing I’m big on is business. I believe in being financially free so I share information on how I navigate my journey
-Health and wellness is another topic I am fond of. The first step to living a successful life is by having a sane mind in a healthy body.
Everything on this blog is about my journey. I am proud of how far I have come and today I see my past as a springboard to an amazing future. I am on an endless quest to discover my next best level and all the tools I use will be featured here and more.
So are we doing this together or what??